I often wish I could live my whole life on the mountaintop. It’s where happiness if found, right? Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend I’m standing on the highest peak. I inhale, allowing the fresh air to fill my lungs. I imagine watching puffy clouds effortlessly drift across the bright blue sky. I’m captivated by the greens, reds, blues, and browns that speckle the valley floor. The rolling hills, deep valleys, lush pastures, and raging waters are mesmerizing. It’s all spectacular from a distance. Who wouldn’t want the “mountaintop experience” forever? Then I look at my feet. I’m standing on rock. Hard, lifeless rock. While the view from the top is stunning, I remember the beauty isn’t at the top. The immense beauty is in the valley below.

There’s very little growth on the top of a mountain. While the mountaintop experience can be wonderful for a little while, real life, real growth, and real experiences don’t happen at the top. Everything “real” happens in the valley.

But the valley is scary. There’s limited vision in the valley. I can’t see the big picture. The unknown is uncomfortable. I often allow fear to rule my thoughts and actions. Sometimes my view is so limited, I can’t even see past the next grove of trees or the rushing river looming in the distance.

What if I actually stopped right in the middle of the mess and admired the forest’s majesty or stood in awe of the roaring rapids? Would I see beauty? What about that small, fragile flower bravely peeking through the fertile soil? Would I see how it struggles though the muck to become glorious? I definitely can’t see that from the top of a mountain.

I know the valley is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I can’t live out the fruits of the spirit on the mountaintop. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control only grow when I experience trials, pain, and challenges.

“In the valley where your heart was broken will be the place of your greatest harvest.” – Carol McLeod, Just Joy Ministries

I can bear fruit even in the worst moments of my life. Sometimes this is hard to believe, especially in the middle of a mess. But, God’s blessings are in the valley. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” God is in the business of feeding and healing souls. That gives me peace even as I continue living into my challenges. With each brave step I take, I’m telling fear it has no place in my life.

Are you living in the valley right now? You’re not alone. Don’t be scared or discouraged. There’s beauty right in front of you. Right there! Right next to that hard thing. Don’t forget to look for it!

Most people agree life has a way of throwing not one, but dozens of curveballs at us — sometimes all at once. Even though we know life is full of difficult moments, why are we so thrown off when they actually happen? Why do we get disappointed so easily? Shouldn’t we know by now that life rarely goes “as planned”?

So, how do we handle an unexpected death, loss of a job, cheating spouse, or serious illness? Where is God and how is he working these unexpected detours into the “grand plan”? I don’t like when things don’t go the way I planned. Shocking, I know. But as much as I don’t want to admit this, I also believe deep growth only happens when obstacles and challenges are put in our way.

It’s not easy to see the goodness in disappointments. But, I do believe it is possible to put the broken pieces of our dreams back together and create a new masterpiece.

I just finished reading an inspiring book called “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered” by Lysa Terkeurst. Lysa bravely writes this book in the middle of her struggles. She never admits to having all the answers and doesn’t even know how her story will end. She draws from the depth of her own disappointments to show her reader (and herself) that strength is available and where we can find it.

Right now, I’m on a detour from my original life plan. I have a daughter with severe anxiety who needs a special parenting style you can’t find in a typical parenting book. So, I’m on a journey to find unique ways to reach her, love her, and better understand her struggles. Although this path is not something I envisioned or dreamed, I’m confident I’m on the right path. I’m reminded daily that although I’m not in charge, I am gifted with the tools I need to live this life well. While I’m on a detour from my plan, I’m still exactly where God wants me to be. He knows how it all fits together in the end and that gives me the confidence to put one foot in front of the other — even if I can’t see where I’m stepping.

I’ve read or listened to many people tell their story — how they walked this crazy journey and finally arrived at the other side. They saw the beginning, middle, and end and could look back at their “trial” and finally understand why they needed to endure it.

Although their stories are encouraging and inspirational, I want to know the people who are still trudging through the muck and somehow finding joy in the middle of the mess. These are my people. I want to know I’m not alone in the mud. I want to know I can still see growth even when I’m feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

I’m glad I’m in the middle of my story and excited to share it “in real life”. I hope it will encourage others and give them the courage to reach out for help. Childhood anxiety shouldn’t be battled alone. Let’s fight this together, for the sake of our families.

I’m raising a glass to my people — the middle of the muck people. Here’s to the journey! May we encourage each other and be a light to those walking the same path.

My six-year-old teaches me something every single day. While I know it’s my job and privilege to provide insight, teach right from wrong, and train my children in the ways of the world, I think God gave me children to teach me to look deeper, shed my insecurities, lighten up, and laugh.

But, inevitably, life takes a toll. I easily forget these simple lessons. That’s why I’m so thankful for my daughter. Her faith, honesty, and purity are contagious and I’m thankful for it every day.

My daughter loves the soundtrack from the movie, The Greatest Showman. She knows the lyrics to nearly every song and has even choreographed dance numbers to some of them. But, this is what I hear most:

“Mom, can you play “This is Me” again?”

I put the song on repeat until I literally cannot stand it anymore. I go to bed with the thundering chorus in my head most nights.

The talented Keala Settle belts out the music with such passion, I can see why it draws my daughter in. But, as I listen to the powerful lyrics, I wonder if she really understands the meaning of this song.

So, I asked her.

Perfection

This elusive word has haunted me most of my life. It taunts me when I fail. It tells me I’m not good enough. It loves to point out how others are so much better than me. Sometimes it brings me to tears and sometimes it makes me so angry I feel like punching a hole in the wall.

Maybe it’s the fear of disappointing someone, or even worse, disappointing myself. So, I relentlessly try to “have it all together” — ALL THE TIME — only to realize no matter how “perfect” I am, I will disappoint someone. I will fail. I won’t have it all together.